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Марси Рийс призова: „Русофилите да напуснат България или да  замълчат завинаги.“

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Агенция КРОСС – 05 Септември 11:20
/КРОСС/ Американският посланик в България Марси Рийс направи специално изявление след закритата си среща с военния министър Велизар Шаламанов, министъра на външните работи Даниел Митов и представителите на гражданското общество в лицето на членове на различни НПО занимаващи се с изграждането и опазването на демократичните ценности в съзнанието на средно-статистическия българин:

“ Излизам от тази среща обнадеждена за бъдещето на Република България, като част от евроатлантическия пакт и ЕС. Въпреки трудностите от тежкото комунистическо минало, промило мозъците на огромна част от българското население, днешният ми разговор с хора, ясно ориентирани в правилното мислене и с чиста и неподправена бликаща от сърцата им омраза към всичко напомнящо сгромолясалият се социалистически строй идва да докаже, че средствата, основно финансови, вложени в подкрепата на тези личности не са били напразни.

Днес аз се видях с демократично назначените от българския президент представители на правителството и основната, легитимна част от представителите на гражданското общество, в лицето на членовете на финансираните от мои съграждани НПО занимаващи се с политическата просвета и разпространението на демократичните ценности сред българското общество.

Зрелият избор на българските граждани, дали изцяло своето доверие на въпросните представители от неправителствения сектор, да изразяват отношението на съвкупното българско общество по наболелите и актуални политически, геополитически и икономически въпроси от деня, е още едно доказателство за бурното демократично развитие на редовия гражданин на България.

И наистина по време на срещата с тези млади, подкрепяни от нас хора, аз успях да чуя гласът на българското общество, неговите страхове и надежди. Уверявам ви, вие не сте сами в тези трудни времена, ние, цялата американска администрация и политически елит сме с вас и няма да допуснем шепа самозабравили се хора, да съсипват бъдещето на България. И като казвам шепа, няма да се въздържа, а ще ги спомена, за да им е ясно, че ги знаем и ги наблюдаваме – това са русофилите.

В момента няма друга заплаха за стабилността и икономическия просперитет на българската държава освен русофилите. Именно заради тяхното наличие в българското общество, падането на визите за български граждани желаещи да пътуват в САЩ е невъзможно. Тука няма да се спирам подробно, но ще спомена, че тяхното вредно влияние не е от вчера. Още по времето, когато България е била равноправен член на Османската империя, шепа русофили са успели да размътят съзнанието на българите, като им втълпявали, че те ще живеят по-добре извън рамките на империята, което обаче можело да се постигне само с подкрепата на Русия или както нелепо я наричали тогава «Дядо Иван“. Бръщолевенията на тези русофили, мнозина от които получили своето образование именно в Русия, довели до там, че голяма част от българското население се вдигнало на бунт срещу законното правителство на султана и съответно било изклано от редовната армия дошла да потуши антидържавните им демонстрации. Кръвта на тези хора тежи на съвестта на русофилите.

Самата Русия, както е ясно на всички демократични хора по света, съвсем умишлено е «освобождавала“ ту един, ту друг балкански народ, само и единствено с цел да създаде на Балканите барутен погреб от слаби и зависими от нея държави, които да може да манипулира съгласно своите геополитически интереси. Днес виждаме опити да се постигне същото. Русия, чрез своите протежета, се опитва да освободи първо съзнанието на българите от евроатлантическите ценности, а в последствие убедени сме и България от членството в ЕС и НАТО. Все повече се правят опити за насаждане на образа на «Бащицата Путин“, който се грижи за интересите на своите поданици и трябва да служи за пример на българските политици. Не след дълго, ако не се вземат крути мерки, ще чуем, че «Дядо Путин“ ще освободи България от членството й в ЕС и НАТО.Това не е шега, а реална зплаха.

Затова призовавам русофилите да напуснат България или да замълчат за винаги. Нека не мислят, че нашата добрина и толерантност, която проявяваме към радикалния ислям, гейовете, ромите и т. н. ще се разпростре и върху тях. България е с такова географско местоположение, че не може да си позволи русофили. Ако искат те може да отидат в Западна Европа или дори при нас в Америка, където укрепналите в демократичните ценности европейски и американски граждани няма да обръщат внимание на техните бръщолевения, ако искат да отидат в любимата си Русия, но не можем да позволим да останат тука. С това се съгласиха както представителите на българското правителство, така и каймака на гражданското общество в лицето на представителите на неправителствения сектор.

Днес, когато сме на прага на военен конфликт с Русия, присъствието на русофили в България е неприемливо, защото утре, когато българите ще бъдат призовани да защитят Демокрацията с военна сила, тези русофили ще пускат своята отрова и ще объркват мислите на решените да умрат в името на Демокрацията. Ако обаче успеем да ги изолираме, ако техните гласове заглъхнат, ако те самите изчезнат от лицето на България, хиляди български граждани , които днес са безработни и псуват своето правителство и политически елит, хилядите жертви на наводненията от последната година залели страната, всички бедни и отхвърлени от обществото български граждани ще имат шанса да спечелят пари, като се включат активно във войната срещу Русия. Защото Демокрацията е единствената ценност, за чиято защита се плаща с пари. Демокрацията не е просто идея, за която да умреш, тя е стока, която да доставиш там, където хората имат нужда от нея според нашите виждания. Демокрацията и парите вървят ръка за ръка, там където има демокрация има пари, а там където има война за демокрация има шанс за печалба на много пари.

Аз знам, че представителите на неправителствения сектор в България, ще са първите, които ще се включат във войната срещу Русия, не просто защото това е правилното решение, а защото носи печалба. А това което носи печалба винаги е правилно. Така че, между забогатяването на българските граждани и парите стоят русофилите. Те обричат на бедност всички които ги слушат и им се водят по акъла, техните идеи са безпочвени, абсурдни и отвлечени и най-вече, не носят пари.

Представете си само светлото бъдеще, една война срещу Русия, огромна държава с голям човешки ресурс, която се нуждае спешно от Демокрация. В тази война може да участва целият български народ, всеки отделен гражданин и да спечели, дали за нов телефон, дали за нова кола, дали за нова къща. Много американски граждани така забогатяха през последните години и успяха да се преборят със световната финансова криза. Днес това е американската мечта, възможността да участваш във война за Демокрация. Българи, не позволявайте на русофилите да пречат в осъществяването на мечтите ви, изгонете ги от вашата прекрасна държава!

An Ode to My Alt [EVE]

Xena’s Scythe
How can modules so mundane
Assemble in such glory?
Brittle, fast and frail
Xena, that’s your story…

Imagined as creature of craft
Conceived in feline likeness
I gave you teeth and claws
and hurled you into darkness.

You were the stay home pet
the one who softly sleeps
but look how well you aged
and made grown men weep

And now you fly beside me
And heal the wounds and pain
of the flagship of the Angels
from so far far away.

I love you, Xena, and i always will
and when facing goons
i see you, orbiting at eighty
I know you love me too.

Ender’s Game : Capsuleer’s Synopsis

Carebear alliance recruitment officers scout kindergarten playgrounds in search of a new fleet commander to lead their new pvp corp and protect their mining barges from being raped by gangs of aliens flying Minmatar T1 cruisers.

They choose Ender mostly for his awesome nickname, abduct him and make him camp gates in disorganized fleets 24/7. Ender gets podded a million times but also gets on some killmails.

Everyone constantly raging at him for being a noob makes him want to die less and kill MOAR so he starts logging into the test server and practices so he can get better at practicing. He gets better . His corp becomes HIS corp and also the best pvp corp in the game.

As a reward he receives a 2000000 inch monitor and gets to command his exercise fleet while docked in station. As a final rehearsal for the final battle Ender leads a one week long roam on the test server and manages not to lose too many ships. Just before everyone on TS passes out from sleep deprivation and alcohol poisoning the fleet makes it into the alien home system and DOOMSDAYS their main planet and therefore wins the WAR because the aliens cannot make nanite repair paste anymore.

Just as he logs off and the client restarts Ender realises he’s been on Tranquility this whole time OMGWTF this was the real final battle and he fought it thinking it’s not real. Also due to a diplo fuck-up the aliens had no idea they have been RESET and thought they are still BLUE so instead of a HERO Ender is now considered a blue-killer XENOCIDE.

Ender the Xenocide RAGE QUITS his corp and roams the galaxy in a triple stabbed nullified Loki with the pod of the alien CEO in the cargo in search of a planet that has all 12 raw resources needed for the production of nanite repair paste plus a NPC station with assembly lines so the aliens can make ISKies and buy PLEXes so they can play the GAME.

THE END

P.S. The enemy gate is DOWN;)

HOW-TO: Fast Java Image Gallery in Ebay Listings

TL;DR

In the code below replace ‘http://www.path.to/yourbigimage…’ with the path to your big images and replace ‘http://www.pathtoyoursmallimage.in…’ with the path to your thumbnail images. Paste in the HTML section on the Create Your Listing page, DONE. For more info and an example read expanded bellow…

<div> <script type="text/javascript">
function imageSwap (image) {
document.getElementById('bigimage').innerHTML='<img src="' + image + '.jpg"/>';
}
</script>
<style type="text/css" media="screen">
<!--
#bigimage {text-align: center;}
#thumbs {text-align: center;}
</style>
<image src="http://www.path.to/oneofyourbigimagesindoubleinvertedcommas.jpg" width="1" height="1" border="0">
<div id = "thumbs"><a href="#" onmouseover="imageSwap('http://www.path.to/yourbigimageinsingleinvertedcommasWITHOUT.JPEGEXTENSION')"> <img class="thumbs" src="http://www.pathtoyoursmallimage.in/doubleinvertedcommas.jpg"></a></div>
<div id="bigimage">
<img src="http://www.path.to/oneofyourbigimagesindoubleinvertedcommas.jpg">
<div><br>
</div>
</div>

Expanded:

NOTE: I’m only writing this up because i took me such a long time to solve – in the hopes that it can save someone else time

Ebay wouldn’t let you load jQuery in listing decription which renders all the super cool transition galleries / slideshows / thumbnail viewers unusable so it has to be dead simple.

You can take out the ‘style’ section completely and it will still work – i only added it to center the main picture and have the thumbnails lined nicely on top of it. Please note you don’t need a <head>, <html> or anything extra – remember you are basically writing a <div> in an ebay page.

If you want to specify a background to make it look prettier you can do so by enclosing the whole thing in a <div> and specifying background-image: url('http://path.to/whatever.jpg') – i had to also set height:1500px to prevent stuff from coming out of the background (no idea why that was happening) like this:

<div style="background-image: url('http://path.to/whatever.jpg'); background-repeat:repeat; height: 1500px;">

Here’s what it does:







PS: To prevent everything jerking around on the page on mouse over preload the big images (code above updated)

PEDRAM (2007-2011)

THEY WERE like the widowed mistresses of an Islamic dictator who’s just been dethroned by beheading on national television, the girls I’m having to work with now.

Having witnessed (in horror!) the attention and effort that generally goes into applying make up I was stricken by it’s public destruction. The dignified postures, sporadically broken by grief tremors, the dreamy deep eyes, almost staring into another world would have had the unwary observer arrive at the inevitable conclusion that the mega seed-ship that (surely!) has departed to find another planet and save humanity from impending apocalypse has just met it’s doom. Or that someone’s dog died. But, as anyone who’s had the misfortune of being around girls growing up would have guessed, it was all about a well-built, a bit sensitive, a bit moody, a bit funny and sometimes a bit silly boy.

Missed one:)

Their reaction mystified me until i realised (after much deliberation) that for a girl, a guy that’s thousand miles away is for absolutely all intents and purposes, dead. This raises some fascinating questions about the savage jungle that’s a woman’s mind but i won’t ask them now. This is Pedram’s obituary.

He was alright, I guess and many will miss him. I imagine a lot of people will remember yesterday as ‘The day Pedram left’. And even if for me it was the ‘The day i had to throw all these barrels out of the hatch at 7 fn AM” this doesn’t mean i was unaffected. I bought his monitor, sold his laptop, sent him away from the Hospital and into Esther’s claws, learned about the existence of 4chan from him, found him passed out in Jospehina’s embrace, had him puke on my sheets, woke him up with Children of Bodom with speakers hanging down the staircase and many other little things.

I’d like to say i believe he’s in a better place now, but my research shows (conclusively) that humans have exactly zero chance of survival in Australia.

So I guess what I’m saying, Pedram, is : That “Stay safe” over the bar just wasn’t enough.

Music is (fittingly) Theatre of Tragedy – A Distance There Is.

Atlas Shrugged

I don’t think anyone has actually read this CVLT work

I suspect it’s one of these books that people put on their shelves (kindles?) just to impress their intellectual guests, who (not having read the book themselves but assuming, based on the evidence, that their host has) are forced to initiate a discussion on the effects of objectivism on psychology when translated into an essentially capitalist society infiltrated at the highest levels by left-wing traitors. The hilarious conversations ensuing probably go like this:

Guest: Oh, I see you own a copy of Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand objectivism capitalism trains?

Host: Yeah, yeah, it was a present. Free markets, entrepreneurship, parasites.

Guest: I couldn’t agree more! Good work, steel, professionalism, rewards!

Host: Absolutely. Also, robots.

Guest: Wait, what?!!

Anyway, they finally made a (colour, with sound) movie. Here’s the trailer:

Now, we’ve already established you haven’t read it and that you never will so let me break it down for you – it looks from the trailer that the entire movie covers the story from pages 1-300 (of three hundred million) meaning that the next two planned sequels are 10 hours each OR they’ve cut out all the sex/train scenes. This is already highly entertaining. Here’s a fan made trailer for the first sequel

And cracked.com’s take on the whole thing

And finally one for the /b/tards:

3D Chess

Introducing: Game Of Thrones (S01E04)

The Last Dragon gets serviced by the slave he bought to (not?) teach his sister how to better please her barbarian husband (turns out he likes it cowgirl style)…

…the kid that got thrown out the window (literally) after witnessing the queen getting on all fours for her brother has a weird dream….

…and Sean Bean doesn’t know what he’s doing in this show.

Yes, I agree to help these hobbits take this ring to….oh, wait…

The Big Bang Theory S04E22

Sheldon invents chess for three players and introduces two new pieces – The Snake and The Old Woman – among other things.

My catapult flings my bishop to Howard’s Queen’s Gorilla Two. Rook to transporter pad – comes out at Lenard’s Queen’s Bishop five and a third – check on Lenard. When is my pawn allowed to use the golf cart? When it’s done charging. Or you land on a time machine. Obviously.

The Royal Wedding. Reviewed

First off – here’s a picture of Kate Middleton’s sister’s ass

Kate Middleton sister's ass

Best part of the wedding

Now that I’ve got your attention here’s the review :

It looked like it might be interesting. For a moment. Some fascinating people that call themselves Muslims Against Crusades filed for permission to hold a peaceful protest outside Westminster Abbey on the Big Day.

These Muslims are firmly against this shit. That happened 700 years ago.

This reasonable request was immediately followed by a similar one by the even more fascinating people from The English Defence League who promised to (verbatim) ‘form a ring of steel around the royal wedding’ , which is strange since Carling cans are made of aluminium.

Hint: It’s number 13.

Srsly – I think governments should team up with Blizzard and PC World to give all Muslim extremists and their nationalist counterparts lifetime free subscriptions to World Of Warcraft, where they can work out their idiotic issues in the comfort of their mother’s basements. Like the rest of the mentally challenged kids. The best part of this strategy is that, if carried out properly, both groups are guaranteed to stop breeding (might need to throw in lifetime subscription to brazzers as well though:)) In a few short decades we’ll have a world free of people that believe that large sections of humanity should be converted or killed.

Presumably Met Police Commissioner Sternface McIronfist wrote both groups back basically saying It’s OK as long as they fill in, sign and return the form attached (Consent To Be Shot 10 Times In The Face ) within the deadline. (And then, just to be on the safe side called in Roger Sterling to make sure everything goes according to The Plan ) Strangely, no protesters or ‘rings’ of any kind could be seen on the day. Sigh…

What could be seen was hundreds of thousands of people who came to London to celebrate ‘being British’ (srsly), condescending reporters who kept shouting at people who don’t speak any English (Do you wanna see another kiss, do ya, do ya?!!!??) like demented TV preachers on Benzedrine….

You’ll suck a cock to see a second kiss, you say?

some really nice cars..

and, i might have mentioned that, the bride’s sisters’ ass

kate middleton's sister's ass

The fact that the newly-weds kissed TWICE on the balcony is a big deal apparently – the only explanation for which is that they used up, like, 50% of their yearly Royal British intimacy quota to please the crowd.

When contrary to populist predictions it turns out that that the wedding lost much more money than it made you might want to remember that second kiss to, you know, keep you warm at night or something. Like when it turns out the NHS won’t pay for your cancer pills because of some sort of budget cut. You go ahead and remember the fn second kiss.

one

two

I think Oasis captured the mood of the whole thing perfectly couple of years back so without further ado I give you The Royal Wedding – the complete video

We live a dying dream. If you know what I mean

The Adjustment Bureau. Reviewed.

If you ever doubted that PR and advertising agencies somehow secretly control fn everything I recommend watching this documentary (The Adjustment Bureau) where you will clearly see Roger Sterling (from SterlingCooperDraperPrice ) doing superhuman shit and making sure everything goes according to The Plan.

The Adjustment Bureau Roger Sterling

When I’m not drinking whiskey, banging the secretary or having a heart attack while banging twin actresses, I control everything that happens to you….

Roger and his co-workers have been called angels in the past but they prefer the term ‘Campaign Executives’ and as I have always suspected their power lies in their hats. That’s how the chairman limits their powers, you see. Even with their limited powers however, they are able to go through doors that (if hat is present) lead to wherever they want them to lead, rather than the toilet. Like the keymaker in the Matrix. And travelling through the shadows in Zelazny’s Amber Chronicles.

(Another parallel one can draw with Zelazny’s work is the tactic of taking a hierarchy system and transplanting it into a different context (Lord of Light – startship crew play Hindu mythology cast, Creatures Of Light And Darkness – starship crew play Egyptian mythology cast). In The Adjustment Bureau a 60’s advertising firm staff play Christian mythology cast. They should have gotten Zelzany to write the script. If he wasn’t, you know, dead…)

Memorable characters include this guy:

The Adjustment Bureau The Hammer
He’s been nicknamed The Hammer by the other angels. When Matt Damon starts messing with The Plan he breaks Emily Blunt’s legs. You know, to make a point.

There’s also another guy that helps Matt Damon convey a message about love and destiny or some shit. The only not boring thing about him seems to be that he’s the only non-white angel. Well done, Hollywood!

But he coolest thing (by far) in the whole movie is this:

It’s the notebook all angels are carrying around that shows real time dynamic updates of whoever they are tracking with the possible effetcs events have on the future, overlaid on The Plan schematics. The blinking line is the current moment, like, you know, in a video editing program. We just have to assume if you write someone’s name in it (while imagining their face) they will die from a heart attack unless you specify cause of death. What can i say – beats the shit out of my Kindle…